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31 July 2011 @ 11:45 pm
fic: the theory of narrative causality; iii  



Page 1 of 1
From: jumperfucker
   To:   consulting_detective
Hey — d'you think we could move this discussion to a chatlog somewhere? PMs are really annoying to log into. I'm on a gmail account, so we could have a session there, maybe?

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jumperfucker
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consulting.detective is connected.

 
21:43consulting.detective: Hello.
21:44you: oh
hi
I just sent you that pm, you're very fast
21:44consulting.detective: Yes.
I expect you are looking at that Moriarty picture at the moment.
21:45you: god, you've got cameras in my room, haven't you?
jk jk
yeah, I am.
it's, ah, surprising. he's a bit young, isn't he?
21:45consulting.detective: I expect so. You have told me twice of your intention to write him slightly differently than, I quote, 'anyone would expect'.
21:46you: and that's your idea of different? well, yeah, I mean, obviously he's not an old math doctor
and he sure as hell isn't bald
he doesn't even wear glasses
21:46consulting.detective: How are glasses in any way significant?
21:47you: well, they're not.
it's just the general figure people have of professor moriarty, you know? old and knobbly and evil in a cackling sort of way
21:48consulting.detective: and you are not writing that story.
21:48you: true.
mine's a bit camp
i'm just going to need a bit of while to adapt to the new face i guess
and ffft I could easily make him into an evil math professor though
the kind who cracks jokes with his students and is super-nice during class
and then
he gives them a really fucking difficult test
on the stuff they haven't been revising
21:49consulting.detective: He will do, then.
I do have another batch of doodles I could send you, if you wish to see him on different angles.
21:50you: did you just say doodles?
i didn't think you could say doodles
the world opens suddenly
:D
21:50consulting.detective: I am occasionally able to adapt myself to your lingo, you know.
21:50you: actually, i wouldn't be surprised if you had written an entire dictionary on the subject.
now, you know, that holmes/watson bit in the third part, you said you'd tell me what you thought...
Pop-in 







cute enough to shoot you down (jumperfucker) wrote,
@ 2011-05-07 12:11:00


HELLO, CONVENTION WEEKEND.

Here we are, then — liveblogging the hell of out this, as promised. Sarah and Mike and me have met up, and Bill should be around somewhere, and the next panel doesn't start until two, so we'll be in the sushi bar near the west exit for the next hour or so — anyone who wants to hook up? Sarah's the pretty brunette with the smile, and Mike and I are the two short blokes with the beers in front of them. Feel free to join, just pay for your own drinks.

And, uh, okay, I'm writing on my iPhone right now, the one Harry got me? yeah, and you know what that means. Still typing with two fingers here. Still, if I come across anything that's really important I'll be sure to let you know — and anyway I'll tell you all about today in my post tonight. Don't flood my inbox with questions till then, kids!

Sarah would like you all to know that I'm a little pathetic. Breaking the myth and all that, she says. Cheers, Sarah.

Anyway, my plate of salmon sashimi is coming up, so I'll let you guys off the leash for the rest of the afternoon — don't break anything, turn the lights off when you leave, and try not to wire the Internet to explode while I'm gone. Ta!

ETA: Oh my god. Okay, I know I said I wouldn't log back in to tell you stupid stuff, but oh my god. There's this guy. Was in the first panel, the Doctor Who one, sitting in the back and sulking for some reason, and I couldn't get a good look at him, but now he's just passed by our table and looked at us with a look of sheer, utter scorn —and oh my god you guys he's gorgeous. Tall and pale with dark, curly hair and grey, grey eyes. Thin as a rod and rocking the suit, shit looks modeled. He looks completely out of place in a con; he should be up showing off Dior outfits on a stage, or something. I wouldn't mind me a piece of that.

(I mean, hell, guys, what's a bloke to say? even Sarah was licking her lips at his (ridiculously adorable) backside. Damn.)


(61 comments) - (Post a new comment)







consulting_detective
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jumperfucker is connected.
 
19:34jumperfucker: hey, you around?
*poke*
...
apparently not.
well, uh. I just wanted to say, you know, i'm at the con right now, and i was wondering
oh anyway forget it, you're probably working today or something, you wouldn't come at cons
uh
right
so anyway, i'll talk to you later i guess
 
jumperfucker is disconnected.
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cute enough to shoot you down (jumperfucker) wrote,
@ 2011-05-07 19:58:00


Okay, well, we're having room service in Bill's room right now, and we might be going for drinks later with a nice group of people we met at the Q&A, so we're all checking out our email inboxes on the two netbooks we're sharing, and I can tell you all about this afternoon.

The Q&A went well — it was really funny, the cast kept cracking inside jokes we didn't know the first thing about, and they didn't mind having their pictures taken afterwards, so we'll have a nice little diorama for you all later this week. No Rachel McAdams, as expected. Me and Mike went all D: at them.

They wouldn't tell us much about the sequel at all, also as expected, but we had a long laugh about RDJ in drag, which is apparently really going to happen. Ready your knickers, girls and boys. There was a moment when he nearly stepped off the stage to show us — 'anyone got a spare skirt? one of the gentlemen in the first row, maybe?' — but JL pulled him back and said something in his ear, and RDJ just sort of started laughing like a loon and tossed his arm around his shoulders, and then stayed like that for the rest of the Q&A. They're not even trying to harsh our squee, are they?

Still, that was fun, and the Doctor Who panel earlier was quite good — 's all got to do with Arthur Darvill in a suit, I reckon. My god the man scrubs up well. Moffat was busy being very sneaky and mysterious, but he did drop a few spoilers about the second half of the season, which sarah_s is posting here. Last I checked, the comments count is rising fast, so get thee there quick, before the party is over!

Speaking of pretty men in suits, Tall, Pale and Gorgeous was at the Q&A this afternoon — sitting in the back fiddling with his phone where the ushers couldn't see — and he did ask a question. Baritone, slow and deep, amazing, hmmm.

Apparently, I have a voice kink. That's very new.

(And now I really hope he's not in fandom, reading this and laughing at me behind his screen. Hello, stranger.)


(76 comments) - (Post a new comment)







Page 1 of 1
From: my_croft
   To:   consulting_detective
You ought to tell him before he finds out himself.

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From: consulting_detective
   To:   my_croft
Stop harping on me.

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From: lass_sirene
   To:   consulting_detective
He's right, you know.

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From: consulting_detective
   To:   lass_sirene
Go away.

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Page 1 of 1







this is my task force, junior (let_us_trade) wrote,
@ 2011-05-17 16:41:00


EDWARD HARDWICKE APPRECIATION POST

Well, everyone. A Watson has died, and one of the best, at that. He really was quite fantastic, and apparently the kindest man as well, and he's died of cancer yesterday, at age 78.

This is a post for anything that's related to him — obituaries, testimonies, videos, drabbles, fanart, planned watchalongs, whatever — to remember this excellent actor and wonderful John Watson.

Thank you.


(334 comments) - (Post a new comment)


miss_toby
2011-05-17 05:04 pm (local) (link)
Oh, no! I didn't even know he had cancer.

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jim_fromit
2011-05-17 05:12 pm (local) (link)
Neither did I, Moll.

And I was thinking — I mean, maybe, you might not want to! — but if you want, I've got the DVDs, we could watch them together? I know your shift this Saturday ends at six, so maybe we could order some Chinese and, you know, meet up? if you want. I don't want to make you if you don't want to.

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miss_toby
2011-05-17 05:14 pm (local) (link)
Oh, no, I'd love it! I could bake cookies?

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jim_fromit
2011-05-17 05:17 pm (local) (link)
I love cookies!

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neveryou_again
2011-05-17 05:23 pm (local) (link)
You two are just plain adorable. :)

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jumperfkr
2011-05-17 05:56 pm (local) (link)
He was the best Watson to the best Holmes. R.I.P.

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storm_ford
2011-05-17 06:23 pm (local) (link)
There are quite a few obituaries running around — here, here, and here. This one has an extract of an interview of his and Brett's. This one is a review of their playing Holmes and Watson onstage in 1988.

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sarah_s
2011-05-17 06:39 pm (local) (link)
WATCHALONG NOTICE

Saturday night, Hound of the Baskervilles, exact hour yet to decide. Anybody's interested?

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neveryou_again
2011-05-17 06:45 pm (local) (link)
Count me in. I love Hound.

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not_thatbill
2011-05-17 06:48 pm (local) (link)
Same

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lass_sirene
2011-05-17 06:51 pm (local) (link)
Thirded.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 06:52 pm (local) (link)
Ditto, Hound is great and I've an early shift.

To think that Hardwicke thought he was too old and serious to play Watson. He was wonderful.

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sarah_s
2011-05-17 06:57 pm (local) (link)
He really was, wasn't he? Brett was marvelous at any age, but Hardwicke really brought in the wiser Watson we can imagine from the post-Hiatus stories.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:00 pm (local) (link)
And he doesn't take any flak from Holmes either — they're so balanced.

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let_us_trade
2011-05-17 07:08 pm (local) (link)
Brett was my favorite Holmes. Sorry, Downey!lovers.

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w_harry
2011-05-17 07:13 pm (local) (link)
Boo, you whore ~:O~

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jumperfkr
2011-05-17 07:13 pm (local) (link)
The thing about Brett, I think, is that he stuck perfectly to the Holmes of the stories, instead of interpreting him one way or another. He was the ideal balance of energetic and composed, without the hyperactivity of RDJ or the aloofness of Rathbone.

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sarah_s
2011-05-17 07:17 pm (local) (link)
Such a good actor. I will never be able to look at Freddy the same, now that I've found out he was the one playing him.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:19 pm (local) (link)
What Freddy where.

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sarah_s
2011-05-17 07:25 pm (local) (link)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0udu4KYv1zI

Don't thank me.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:32 pm (local) (link)
OH MY GOD. CANNOT UNSEE. AHAHAHAHAH.

Someone needs to request this on the kinkmeme ASAP.

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lass_sirene
2011-05-17 07:38 pm (local) (link)
Done.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:40 pm (local) (link)
Aw, shucks. :D

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consulting_detective
2011-05-17 07:33 pm (local) (link)
He was quite good. Better than Burke, at any rate.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:35 pm (local) (link)
I liked Burke! I think it was the blue eyes. And the golden 'stache.

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consulting_detective
2011-05-17 07:38 pm (local) (link)
I recall your saying the same thing about Jude Law.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:39 pm (local) (link)
Law's 'stache was wicked, though.

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consulting_detective
2011-05-17 07:41 pm (local) (link)
Do you have a moustache fetish, John?

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jumperfucker
2011-05-17 07:42 pm (local) (link)
Wouldn't you like to know.

Obey the 'stache, man.

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let_us_trade
2011-05-17 07:44 pm (local) (link)
You realize we've got a pool running on you two, right? go and flirt in your own damn journals, this isn't the place.

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Page 1 of 1
 From: theimprobableone
    To:   jumperfucker
youve no idea what i can do to you if you dont leave consulting_detective alone

i can call so many people who'll make life real hell for you

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 From: theimprobableone
    To:   jumperfucker
you're not clever enogu for him anyway

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 From: theimprobableone
    To:   jumperfucker
do you really think he wants your company, your forcing yourself on him, you should be ashamed

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 From: theimprobableone
    To:   jumperfucker
LEAVE HIM ALONE OKAY

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 From: jumperfucker
    To:   theimprobableone
Okay, I've been at work so I couldn't answer, but: SHUT THE FUCK UP. You've been banned. Don't come back.

Whatever kind of misjudged adoration you've got going for consulting_detective , you might want to take it up directly with him — at least I'll have the pleasure to see him rip you to shreds.

Insults, sockpuppets and general trolling are not welcome here. Toodle back to the anon meme, kiddo.

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jumperfucker
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consulting.detective is connected.
22:12you: good evening, you.
I've been meaning to ask this for a while — have you heard of theimprobableone? he's been sending me really horrible PMs about you recently
really really creepy
in an adulating fan kind of way
22:13consulting.detective: Hmmm.
Yes. He is... rather persistent in his admiration.
I am sorry he has bothered you. I should have taken care of him long ago, but
22:16you: ...
but?
22:16consulting.detective: I had... better things to do with my time.
Trolls are only interesting for so long.
I will take care of him, if you like.
22:18you: much appreciated.
22:17consulting.detective: How is your Moriarty coming along?
22:19you: much better, yeah. he's getting... density, I think. which is good.
your drawings help
oh
and i've fleshed out the cabbie from the first part, that's pretty good too. it'll be a bit different from STUD, but I've kept the aneurysm part, and the motive is logical enough.
at any rate, it's tying in with the Moriarty timeline, which was my big problem
22:20consulting.detective: I have a draft ready of the Italian restaurant passage. Are you interested?
22:21you: tell me, how many of these are you going to make? we're far past the five drawings you were planning on doing at first.
of course i'm interested, you big dork, what do you think.
22:22consulting.detective: What can I say, John.
Your words inspire me.
Greatly.
22:24you: oh
...
that's
good, i think.
really, really good.
I'm glad.
Pop-in 







cute enough to shoot you down (jumperfucker) wrote,
@ 2011-05-23 21:59:00


Recently there's been quite an afflux of messages in my inbox asking to know who I am and whether we can meet up and where I work and where I live. And, guys, I understand the wish to make friends, I really do, and I'm sorry, but this is where I draw the line.

So I suppose it's time for another one of these:

PLEASE REMEMBER THESE GUIDELINES.

I am not going to tell you my full name, or my address, or the place where I work. I live in London. I'm bisexual. I'm thirty-six years old. I write smutty slash Sherlock Holmes fanfiction. I know a few of you in real life, that's true, but mostly because I either knew them beforehand, or met them through a complete coincidence afterwards.

(Which came as an absolute surprise when you realize that the nice, shiny new person in front of you is the fantastic fanartist/fic writer you've been talking to for months online.)

So please, stop asking. No, I won't be meeting up with you in some unknown little pub on the other side of London, that's what cons are for. Nor will I tell you where I work, and who for, because I have a hobby of writing Victoriana slash, and that's not necessarily well-seen outside of fandom.

I'm just. You know. I'm just a guy who happens to like Victorian porn. Remember that, don't harass me (you know who you are, don't do it again), and we'll all be good. Thank you.

Anyhow, to make up for this serious mood, have a ficlet (mostly written in celebration of my having reached the 25,000 mark on BigBang fic):

Title: and there we go, then, together
Length: 1,500 words.
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Betas: sarah_s and storm_ford, who need to stop massacring my semi-colons on Google Docs. What have semi-colons ever done to you.
Rating: PG-13? I can never tell when there's no porn.
Summary: John Watson wakes up. And wakes up. And wakes up.

( we've never had a life of our own )


(56 comments) - (Post a comment)



jim_fromit
2011-05-23 10:18 pm (local) (link)
Ooh, what happened?

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jumperfucker

2011-05-23 10:25 pm (local) (link)
Mostly the one asshole, I think — they had a sockpuppet account at first, and after I banned them the anon comments started flooding in. I turned it off for a bit, but quite a lot of people like to comment anon, so I can't keep it down forever just because I can't be arsed to delete a few silly comments.

It's calmed down a bit now, though. Whoever they are, they've got quite a sick fascination with consulting_detective.

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jim_fromit
2011-05-23 10:27 pm (local) (link)
That sounds horrible. >:( Good luck, Johnny.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-23 10:29 pm (local) (link)
Thanks. :D

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miss_toby
2011-05-23 10:36 pm (local) (link)
Good luck getting rid of the troll, John! ♥

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jumperfucker
2011-05-23 10:39 pm (local) (link)
Thank you!

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consulting_detective
2011-05-23 10:39 pm (local) (link)
So this is still going on, then.

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jumperfucker
2011-05-23 10:41 pm (local) (link)
I'm afraid so, yeah. You might want to try and find out who they are with your mad deducin' skilz.

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consulting_detective
2011-05-23 10:42 pm (local) (link)
Anything for you.

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'... Holmes,' I whispered, and as I closed my hand around his upper arm I felt my friend's fine muscles tremble with tension under the sleeve. I did not know how many hours he had been awake — I did not know how many hours I had been awake, and exhaustion rippled through my veins like a sick version of his seven-percent — and his eyes were bright and brittle in the dull dawn. From where I knelt, sitting back on my haunches in a position that drove fine tendrils of pain into my left thigh, I could only see the high slope of his shoulder and his thin, angular profile, twitching with passing thoughts. His brilliant brain had not yet screeched to a halt, as mine had. I wondered if it were not worse, to see, as he did, every dreadful arrangement of the hours and minutes we had before us, and never find a solution quite good enough for the both of us to survive them.

'My dear boy,' he said finally, very softly. His arm shook in my grasp and tore away, only to return in the guise of his fingers, slipping effortlessly between mine. They hooked there, cradled my palm with warmth. I staggered. I was so very tired that I could only squeeze back, and hope that the brush of my wrist against his was a clue he could decipher.

'I am so very sorry,' he whispered, and I could have laughed. He had not understood — eight years of partnership and he had not understood a thing just yet. He presupposed me to be driven to exasperation by his antics, and to follow him into his cases, into his dangers, into his life, out of a misguided sense of guilt and adoration. It was a very pretty case of theorizing ahead of the data.

'Self-centered fool,' I said, affectionally enough. He turned wide eyes on me, but I nosed closer — rather like a dog, if the truth be told — and set my chin upon the sharp snag of his shoulder, dusty and dirty as it was. He drew in a breath, very softly and very fast, and then he said nothing at all. I only wished, at this moment, that I had paper and pen to set the morning down — for his eyes and his nose and his mouth, the fine hairs at his nape. I wanted to write him down entirely, be it for the last time.

The dawn dragged on, but I only saw it in his face.



part iv.
 
 
 
Rayna (Nin)ningen_demonai on August 1st, 2011 01:46 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD, THE GCHAT SCROLLS. HOLY SHIT. OMG. *FLAILS SO HARD* *Scrolls up and down while giggling forever* Holy the hell did she even do that, I'm kinda in awe right now. Wow.

John is the slowest typer. Ever. Grandpa Typer.

RDJ in a dress is so bad but JL kicking him in the rear for being a prat was totally worth it.

PG-13? I can never tell when there's no porn.
THIS IS THE MOST TRUE THING I HAVE EVER READ. For serious, when does PG become PG-13 and what's R in this relationship? We do not talk of G, not in Sherlock fandom.
headfirst into the abysskim47 on August 1st, 2011 07:44 am (UTC)
We do not talk of G, not in Sherlock fandom.

brb dying

:D
Rayna (Nin): Hehningen_demonai on August 1st, 2011 10:05 am (UTC)
8Db
Elizabethbananahater336 on August 1st, 2011 08:59 pm (UTC)
I have to second the: THE GCHAT SCROLLS! comment because, omg, that was so fun for me. XD I love the way this is progressing, and I love the villain in the shape of the anon who keeps commenting and saying mean things to John concerning Sherlock. And of course, the actual writing of the fics in between the LiveJournal stuff, because it's so lovely.
voices in the darkmisha0529 on August 3rd, 2011 09:49 am (UTC)
i didn't think you could say doodles
the world opens suddenly
LOL THE FLIRTING I CAN'T TAKE IT IT'S TOO ADORABLEEEE

's all got to do with Arthur Darvill in a suit, I reckon Hellllll yeah. John has good taste! I APPROVE. And the appearance of Tall, Pale, and Gorgeous! I'm not gonna lie, out of all this awesomeness, the Mysterious Stranger aspect is my favorite part. Because I am a sucker for rom-coms and this so is.

Also: I will never be able to look at Freddy the same OMG YES SO MUCH YES. And you did this to me!

PG-13? I can never tell when there's no porn. Soon to become the most quoted line in fandom, I can see it now!
infinite luxurious uglinessmacphista on August 4th, 2011 03:46 am (UTC)
THE GTALK! IT SCROLLS IT'S LIKE MY LIFE IS COMPLETE I LOVE LIFE AND I'm POOPING RAINBOWS
CaffieneKitty: sherlock-gigglecaffienekitty on August 6th, 2011 08:15 am (UTC)
*direct literal loud reaction to the chatlog formatting*

"OMG IT SCROLLS!"

Read this over on the meme, recced it there a short while back, and still, STILL, the damn 'Post a new comment' has faked me out over a dozen times. Also this is the I-don't-know-how-manyth time I've read this in whole or in part and it still blows my frigging mind.
cotton_sockscotton_socks on September 26th, 2011 02:49 pm (UTC)
Just so you know, the link you (*cough* Sorry, Sarah) posted to 'On the street where you live' has a top comment of: "Anyone got here from 'The Theory of Narrative Causality'? =L" 121 thumbs up and counting...
I have this image of John watching the vid, squeeing appropriately at Brett singing, and then being like, 'hmm, what's this that seems so popular? Maybe something else with Brett in...?' And then he tries to google it... :P

This fic is ridiculously clever, woman. I'm a lttle bit in awe...
il advint qu'un beau soir;falling_voices on September 26th, 2011 03:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, my god. That is... part amazing and part really freaky. :D Thank you for the kind words, dear. ♥
(Anonymous) on April 30th, 2012 01:56 am (UTC)
" Anything for you."

I squee-ed so hard! I love the manner in which you constructed this awesome piece of work! Off to the next part~
fantomeq on May 9th, 2012 02:42 pm (UTC)
I am absolutely loving this. I keep thinking I'm at the end though, when I see "post." LOL! That all comes from the guilt of reading stuff when my kids are nearby. Loved theimprobableone getting banned, and I think the best part so far was John spotting Sherlock at the convention. :)
fiction, fiction, fictionbendingsignpost on June 2nd, 2012 10:09 pm (UTC)
I read this I-don't-know-how-many-times when it was still just on the kinkmeme and, wow, the coding that has gone into this here is incredible. Yeah, totally made a noise of delight at it scrolling.

Beyond that, still love this story to death. Definitely one of the ones where you're having a slow evening, reach for your mental bookshelf and decide, yes, it's time to curl up in a big chair with a favorite story. Was going to say this at the end, but got so impressed by the scrolling gchat that I had to comment right this minute.
bellcheria: JohnLockbellcheria on July 15th, 2012 04:09 am (UTC)
Loooolll I had the same reaction as John with the 'doodles' coming from Sherlock's fingers xDDD
LOLOLOLOL BARITONE AND VOICE KINKS AND OBVIOUSLY THAT WAS SHERLOCK LOLOLOLOL
Babedont_callmebabe on September 18th, 2016 11:45 pm (UTC)
Je les adore !